Monday, June 24, 2013

Digging Holes

In the years leading up to my 16th birthday, I thought there was something magical about small used car lots, the shady kind where sales guys wore checked blazers and had pencil-thin mustaches.

 My first car, a 1979 Chevy Malibu. How I loved you.

I believed that this - THIS - was a place where all my dreams could come true.

So many the time that we almost didn't make it to the top of the Dames Point Bridge.

In the end, I didn't end up buying my first car from one of those lots, probably to my benefit. But it didn't change my burning desire to spend some time looking at the cars there.

Or repairing the starter every few months.

I do not burn with desire to see a used car lot anymore.

I like to think that I've grown up a little bit. After all, that was half a lifetime ago. I've moved on.

I will never forget you, '79.

To Home Depot.

These days, based on the way I've been behaving lately, you'd think Home Depot is the center of all things magical in my world.

(Oh, those wood floors! Ah - the appliances, stainless steel! Look! Tile backsplash! Countertops! Faucets! Fixtures - oh my!)

It's frustrating. Why can't I move past this disease of wanting things? It's like digging a hole at the beach. You remove some wet sand only to have your hole fill with more wet sand. You won't ever have an empty hole. It will always fill with something.

So I guess the question isn't, "Why can't I move past this disease of wanting things?" I know the answer to that question. It's because I'm human. We all want things. If it wasn't a widespread disease, there wouldn't be so many expressions to describe it, like "keeping up with the Joneses." 

No. I think the question should be, "What am I going to let my hole fill up with?" Because it will always fill with something. I can be passive and sort of helplessly watch it fill with wet sand. 

Or I could put something else there instead.

A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and we will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough. 

1 Timothy 6:6-8
The Message

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  1. I looked at the picture of your first car and it reminded me of the time that I drove my best friends Mother's car and hit a fence on the may 24th weekend at the beach! Luckily i was in a car park and didnt hit anyone! as for fullfillment... I am an emotional buyer and nothing s filling the void.. yet.

    1. Oh no! Way to look on the sunny side, though ;) The only thing that I've found will fill up that void is an understanding that all this temporary stuff is just that - temporary. It comes and goes. But real stuff, eternal stuff, that's where we'll find happiness. For me, that means throwing myself into God because He truly is the only thing that will satisfy me. But...I seem to forget that on a daily basis. Obviously, I'm still struggling to get it all straightened out.

  2. I used to covet pretty cars, I only stopped looking at them when I had to get a wheelchair accessible vehicle for my special girl, and now there's really no point! I don't much want stuff either - only when I *think* I need it: so I mostly spend money on technology, nice food and seeing my friends :)

    1. Isn't it funny how much we think we need and how little it takes to actually keep us all going? I really wish that my perception of that reality would get itself in line with the actual reality.


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